Clandestine Emotions
by DJN31GH-and-Derpy
Summary: Ditzy "Derpy Hooves" Doo, has a past that is utterly shrouded in mystery. However, the newfound feelings for another gradually reveals her memories. Just remember "Everything happens for a reason..."
1. Chapter 1

Clandestine Emotions

**Authors: **"Remnant John" (Search N31GH on Steam)

& " Gmod Derpy Hooves" (Me, Search on steam)

Ditzy "Derpy Hooves" Doo, is the faithful mailmare of Ponyville. She works diligently to complete her day to day routine, but is distracted by newfound emotions for another.

Yes, I changed the story from a twisted horrorfest to a romance, hope you dont mind :3

**Chapter 1.**

She loved delivering mail. Although she didn't know why, she felt joy in giving residents of Ponyville their daily letters, packages and gifts from other towns and cities. She doesn't mind the day to day routine that others might find mundane, in fact, she feels it helps organize her life, or at least helps her keep track of things. See, Ditzy Doo, as you can guess by her name, isn't the smartest pony in Ponyville, but certainly not the dumbest either. She can be described as, forgetful, clumsy, and most strikingly, cross-eyed. She has been Ponyville's mailmare for as long as she can remember, which is beginning to get fuzzy, along with the rest of her memories. While being one of the least known of the ponies in her town, she is no where near as reserved as others. Ditzy loves to make friends, and she does along her mail route, but she doesn't really have the time to connect with them in her busy schedule. Her only real friend is Raindrops, who helps her time to time deliver packages, and has her back if she happens to drop those packages.

Ditzy met Raindrops in a rather unusual way.

"Help!" Ditzy cried out, slowly floating headfirst to the ground, a package making her top heavy. Raindrops was the only pony passing by at the moment, and gladly helped her right herself and deliver the package. She was cheerful, lighthearted and one of the only ponies that took out time to actually talk with Ditzy. It was the last package that Ditzy had to deliver for the day, so the two had the rest of the afternoon to chat, even though Ditzy wasn't the best conversationalist. Raindrops explained that their family had recently moved to Ponyville from Fillydelphia, and it turned out that Ditzy's package was the last of Raindrops moving boxes.

That was years ago, but the two are still close, talking after Ditzy's rounds and occasionally having tea and muffins together. It seemed that raindrops was always be there for her, and Ditzy promised that she would always be there for Raindrops.


	2. Chapter 2

Ditzy felt in control of her life when she was with Raindrops. No longer did she obsess over her forgotten past. She learned to enjoy life as it is now. Raindrops was her crutch, her support, they held each other up in times of hardship. But most importantly, she was there, as a friend

It was Ditzy's birthday, and after having a rough week, Raindrops decided she would like to do something nice for her.

She decided to take her to get new horseshoes, not only because their current ones were wearing down, but also because Raindrops knew that Ditzy was practically falling head over hooves for Braeburn. He had recently taken up ironwork and opened up a shop in Appleloosa. They took the train there, and when they finally arrived, Ditzy was pleasantly surprised to learn of her friend's gift. However, she was not aware that Braeburn was now the blacksmith. Walking into the store, they were instantly greeted by none other than Braeburn himself, much to Ditzy's surprise. Raindrops expressed a smug grin as she watched her friend stumble over her words.

"Um…uh, Hi Braeburn, uh, can you help us with something?" Ditzy shyly asked, trying to hide the redness in her cheeks.

"Of course, my lady, what might that be?" replied Braeburn in his heavy Midwestern accent.

"Uh, can you please nail us?" Ditzy said unaware of her word choice.

"Ah, *ahem* excuse me Ma'am?" were some of the only words Braeburn could choke out.

It took a few moments for Raindrops to comprehend exactly what came out of Ditzy's mouth, but when she did, her eyes went wide with embarrassment.

"Oh my, um..what she means is, is that we would like to buy some new shoes please!" Raindrops said, quickly interjecting before anymore damage was done.

"Right of course! Um *cough* who would like to go first, for their shoes." Replied Braeburn, slightly shaken by Ditzy's statement.

Ditzy wasn't sure why the two were acting strange all of sudden. She thought that they must be planning another surprise for her, she hoped it was muffins.

"Well it's Ditzy's birthday today, so I think she'll pick first." Raindrops replied, pointing to her beaming friend.

"Oh! Well then, happy birthday. I'll go find a couple of pairs, I might even be able to match that beautiful mane of yours." said Braeburn, turning around to browse the stock

Not a second after Braeburn left, Raindrops heard a odd noise to her side. It sounded like a single flap of a Pegasus' wings. She looked and saw Ditzy's wings fully unfolded, standing at attention, her cheeks a fiery crimson.

"Ditzy!" Raindrops loudly whispered.

"Yeah?" weakly replied Ditzy, locked in a thousand yard stare.

"Your wings!" Raindrops whispered again, louder this time.

"Huh?" Ditzy replied with the same monotone voice.

"Put them DOWN!" Raindrops whispered, any louder and Braeburn was sure to hear them.

"That's nice..." Ditzy now barely even paying attention.

Raindrops was scared that Braeburn would come back any minute and see her friend in this...well rather embarrassing position.

"Oh for love of..." Raindrops trailed off, she reared up and forced her wings back down, not a moment to soon, as Braeburn walked back to the store front saying.

"Well, I was able to find a couple of...*Flap*"

"Oh, come on!" Raindrops said almost dragging her friend out of the store by her hoof.

Ditzy didn't get any horseshoes that day, but she did get an ache in her wings for holding them up so long.

They stayed at the Appleloosa Inn, having decided to sample the local bakery (or rather, Ditzy deciding to sample the local bakery, making them miss the last train for the day.) But, in the end, Ditzy's birthday wasn't a total loss, she did after all, have muffins.

The next morning, Ditzy got up early, before Raindrops. She decided to go and try to talk to Braeburn.

She took a roll of bandages from the bathroom, and rolled it around both her wings, careful not to make much noise.

Braeburn's shop was only a couple blocks away, and he was already there setting up for the day. His head behind the counter, arranging various scraps and metals, he heard the door open.

"Sorry, the shop doesn't open for another..." said Braeburn lifting his head up from under the front desk.

There stood Ditzy Doo, wings taped snugly to her body, her face practically screaming nervousness.

"Oh, hi Ditzy,...I guess you came back to pick out your..."

Before he could finish, Ditzy reached up and kissed him square on the mouth. They both stood there,

speechless, their cheeks hot in contrast with the cool breeze that flew in through the window.

"I like you." Ditzy was first to break the silence. She handed the stallion a muffin and calmly walked out.

She had a smile ear to ear for the rest of the day.

Raindrops had asked her why the sudden change of mood, but she would simply reply "Secret", her smile not leaving her face for a second.

Braeburn finally caught up to the two at the train station. He looked at Ditzy for a moment, before locking in another kiss.

"I meant to do that hours ago." said Braeburn.

Ditzy took off the restraints on her wings after she got back to the Inn...*Flap*

"Well, I guess it's not much of a secret anymore!" Raindrops exclaimed happily, yet bewildered at what had just happened.

From that point on, Ditzy took the train to Appleloosa every day.

Every. Day.

She was in love.


	3. Chapter 3

Raindrops was on her way to the Post Office to visit Ditzy. Ditzy was on her break, so she felt it appropriate to sit on the front steps of the building and get some fresh, fall air. She saw Raindrops and was ecstatic, it had been a few months since they last met. Ditzy had visited Braeburn everyday since, and Raindrops had finally completed her fourth and final year at Cloudsdale University. She was eager to show off her skills as an Aeronautics Major. She was finally able to fly faster than ever before. To surprise Ditzy, she thought she would fly as fast as she could to the front steps to meet her. She pumped her wings to gather speed, flew halfway, and then hugged them close to her body to cause as little draft as possible. Before she knew it she was nearing the shipping lane. Raindrops had never been to the post office before, and was unaware of the fast traveling shipping lane to the side of the building. It was then, she collided with a foreman shipping his supplies.

He reared up to slow down, and his heavy, steel horseshoes collided with Raindrop's skull. Ditzy was close enough to hear the audible "crack" that was a result of the impact. A string of blood erupted from the newly made fissure on Raindrops forehead. Ditzy instantly grew nauseous, her stomach clenched as she flew as fast as she could to her friend, the shipping lane now stopped. The entire lane was quiet, as was the rest of the post office, Her eyes began to tear, the breeze making them sting. Her breathing became troubled and heavy. The distance to her friend seemed like miles instead of feet. When she finally reached her, she collapsed on the ground before her friend. Raindrops eyes connected with Ditzy as she gasped for air, a slight wheezing announcing her closeness to death. As last glance was shared, Raindrop's eyes rolled into the back of her head. Tears welled up in Ditzy's eyes, her heart began to ache, before she knew it she was sobbing over her friends limp body. It took a couple minutes for Colgate, one of Ditzy's customers to come and escort her away from the scene. But, that was all she did, she left shortly after.

The rest of the day was quiet. Ditzy sat alone in her house, silent. She thought, and thought, and realized it was the same thought recycling itself in her mind. Why? Why now? Why so sudden? Why had no one come to comfort her? But she knew the answer to at least one of those questions. She had no one else. She had known Raindrops since she starting delivering packages, she was the only one she ever really talked to aside from Braeburn. No one else wanted to be around her. It felt as if no one even knew she existed, or just down right didn't care.

She heard a knock at the door, and hoped that someone had seen she was there and that she wouldn't have to mourn alone. She opened the door, it was her boss from the post office.

"Hey, it's really busy down at the office, you're coming back to finish your work right?" he said, not a hint of sympathy in his voice.

Ditzy couldn't believe it, he had to have seen what happened. She was angry, but tears started to form in her eyes. She was able to weakly say "No" before closing the door.

It didn't make sense, and there was no use trying to make sense of it, yet her brain kept trying to, like a broken record.

She packed her bags, she was going to leave for Appleloosa in the morning.

Sometimes its better not to think too hard.


	4. Chapter 4

As always, Braeburn waited patiently for Ditzy at the train station. He stood there, grinning widely. However, when Ditzy didn't respond with a smile of her own like she normally did, he had a hunch that something was wrong. She would wait until they arrived at his house to tell him. Braeburn hated to see Ditzy like this, they walked home and every time he would glance over at her he would feel a wave of confusion and pain as she looked towards the ground in thought.

Ditzy never had to deal with death before, or at least, doesn't remember having to. She wasn't sure how to cope with it, but Braeburn was there for her, and she felt a little less devastated knowing that.

They walked past the bakery on the way to Braeburn's house, and for the first time, Ditzy didn't delight in the aroma of her favorite baked goods. Instead, they made their way home at a slow and somber pace. It seemed like the whole world slowed down, birds stopped chirping, markets were empty, and even the energetic colts and fillies that played in the town center weren't there.

They arrived at Braeburn's house shortly after. Ditzy never changed her expression, her eyes still locked on the ground. Braeburn was worried, He leaned down towards Ditzy an asked her what was wrong. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, and told him before looking back down crying. He was shocked, it had only been a few months since he had seen Raindrops, and he had seen Ditzy every day day since. Braeburn looked at Ditzy and felt his own heart aching. They sat there in a loving embrace, losing track of time. Neither one was quite sure of how long they stayed like that, but that didn't matter to them. The whole world felt empty to her now, with Braeburn the flickering flame that gave her the warmth and comfort to keep going.

The funeral was a couple weeks later. The couple seemed like unwelcome guests. They received stares, and were the subject of whispered conversations. They felt out of place. It was bad enough that Ditzy had lost her friend, but now she had to deal with this. The only people there who really cared, happened to be Applejack and Big Macintosh. They've already heard of Ditzy's relationship with their cousin, and personally welcomed it. They walked over to them and shared memories that seemed to ease the pain.

Ditzy kept her emotions under control for the first half of the service. But then, it suddenly hit her, her best friend was **dead**. She obviously knew this, she had witnessed it firsthand. But, it was then, that the stark reality hit her. She couldn't hold it any longer, and broke out crying. Embarrassed, she hung her head, looking away not wanting to have yet another reason to be talked about. Braeburn was there, and caringly escorted her back home after the funeral. There really wasn't much to talk about, but the silent understanding and compassion that radiated from Braeburn made Ditzy even more glad that he was there. Ditzy got over her friend's sudden passing by knowing that if it wasn't for her, she might not have mustered up the courage to talk to Braeburn in the first place.

Ditzy had taken a leave from work over the fall, she would return during the holiday season to help with the amount of orders that were made during that time of year. It was now the beginning of October, and all of the residents of Appleloosa were getting ready for Applebuck season, all except for Braeburn. He stayed by Ditzy's side the entire time. Not once did he leave her to tend

to the orchard, he felt that others who weren't dealing with what Ditzy was feeling, were more than capable of taking his place. He stayed with her everyday. If she needed something from the store, he would go get it. If it was cold at night, he would be her warmth. Braeburn didn't mind one bit, in fact, he enjoyed it. He loved Ditzy, and knew that she loved him back.

It was Braeburn that kept her going, she coped with the loss of Raindrops with his unconditional love.


	5. Chapter 5

Ditzy had since coped well with her friends unorthodox death. She now remembers Raindrops as she would have wanted Ditzy to remember her. She is content with the memories of their friendship, and is sure that wherever she happens to be, she looks out for her, as she did when she was still alive.

It was now November, and winter was inching closer and closer. Through the weeks following the funeral, Ditzy's love for Braeburn had grown immensely. He too found himself deeply in love with her, and wouldn't want it any other way.

It was getting colder day by day, and the couple kept warm at night by sleeping in a loving embrace. They had slept in the same bed many nights before, but tonight was different. They seemed closer, more intimate. Whether it was the chilly atmosphere or the love surging in their hearts, something drove them closer together than ever before. Neither of them had ever experienced the passion that they shared that night. Their hearts intertwined as their love for one another grew greater than ever. Their very souls seemed to join as one under the lanterns that dimly illuminated the bedroom in an amber light. The newly found sensations that raced through their minds melted away the cold, and pleasure left them exhausted in each others arms. It was clear to them, that fate had brought them together, and it would stay that way.

The holidays were going to begin in a few short weeks, and even though Ditzy would rather stay in the arms of Braeburn for the entire winter, she knew she was needed back at the post office. After a reluctant goodbye, the two kissed one last time before what would be months longing for another. They were both sad, but thought of the joy that would result from them seeing one another after such a long period of time. Ditzy promised she would return as soon as the holidays ended.

The train ride was longer then all the other times Ditzy had taken it. She would soon have to endure the loud, chaotic atmosphere of the post office at this time of year, but for now it was quiet. She had time to think, and only the occasional bumps and rattles of the boxcar would snap her back to reality. She thought about her future, talked to Raindrops, and thought about how she would handle her busy job, but every time her mind returned to her Braeburn. She couldn't ignore it, nor would she want to. It was undeniable that she had found someone she wanted to spend her entire with. This made her feel, although cliche, all warm and fuzzy inside. She couldn't contain the giggles and smiles that spread across her face, and attracted the attention of the other passengers. Usually, she would shy away, but now she honestly didn't care, She was too much in love for that.

At Appleloosa, Braeburn was somewhat distraught, some could even say nervous. He knew in his gut that the next few months were going to go by fast, and Ditzy would soon be back. He needed to find a way to tell her. He had to find a way to ask her to marry him.

It seemed like a simple enough question, especially for someone like Braeburn, but surprisingly he had no clue on how to go about actually asking her. Lucky enough for Braeburn, his cousin was was in town after helping Apple Jack on their orchard back in Ponyville. He thought he would ask Big Macintosh how to go about asking the mare of your dreams to marry you.

He was, after all, a couple years older than Braeburn, and he suspected that with a name like "Big Macintosh" he had to have a few mare troubles of his own.

Unfortunately it seemed that Braeburn couldn't win, he was even nervous about asking his own cousin for advice. See, it wasn't exactly _common_ for an Earth pony and a Pegasus to marry. Sure, it has happened, but it was, for a lack of a better word, rare. Braeburn thought of himself to be lucky however, at least he wasn't a unicorn. Then he would have to worry about the slim chance of having an Alicorn foal. That sure would be something, an Alicorn hasn't been born in years, Princess Luna was the last one, and that was over a thousand years ago. He chuckled at the idea of himself being a stuck up unicorn working in an apple orchard. His mind worked its way back to reality, he would love to be a father, and deep down he knew that Ditzy would be a great mother. He shook his head slightly, he had more urgent matters to attend to.

The train ride came to an end, and Ditzy made her way back home. She was intent on getting a good nights sleep to prepare for the stress that she would endure in the morning. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried, her bed felt cold and empty without Braeburn by her side. Her mind raced back to the previous night, she remembered the feeling of her lover's warm touch. For a moment she cringed, no longer was she the innocent filly that she had been for so long, but she she remembered her love for Braeburn, and knew that it was the right decision. It didn't bother her, because her heart told her that her life was going to take a turn for the better. She didn't dare question it, Ditzy learned thought everything happens for a reason, even though it may not be clear at the time. So, she disregarded any thoughts that would distract her from her work.

After arguing with himself, Braeburn finally decided he would go and ask his cousin for some advice. Big Macintosh was still working in the orchard even though the trees were stripped of both their leaves and fruit.

Walking back to the stable, he spotted Braeburn first. "Well howdy cus'!"

"Hey Macintosh, uh, can I ask you a question?" replied Braeburn

"Of course, what might that be?"

"Well I wanted to ask you, you see, Ditzy and I...I think that we...I know if...I mean, I really want to...*sigh*...maybe we should-" Braeburn struggled to speak clearly but was cut off.

"Well, your certainly not going to ask her like that are ya?" Said Big Macintosh with an almost unnoticeable grin.

"What?" Braeburn replied, slightly confused.

"You ain't gonna ask her to marry you like that right?"

"How did you know that's what I was gonna say?" asked Braeburn with a cocked eyebrow.

"Look cus', its obvious that you two are in love, I see it in the way you look at each other. So, you just gotta ask her. She ain't gonna care how fancy you try to make it, just say it!"

Braeburn thought for a moment before speaking. "I guess your right, but it ain't gonna be easy, I can tell you that."

"Listen, in a couple months, she's gonna be walking out of that train right? And you're gonna be there waiting. I'm gonna be watching, so you'd better ask her, or I'll trot over there and make you more embarrassed than you already are now." said Big Macintosh, a hint of sternness in his voice.

Braeburn had no doubt in his mind that his cousin was telling the truth. So he thanked him and walked back home. He felt a little better as he thought over his options, he did after all have over a month to think about it.

A few weeks went by, and the post office was busier than ever. Ditzy was exhausted, she honestly couldn't remember flying that much ever before. It was going to get worse, it was only the beginning of December, and more gifts and letters were on their way from all over Equestria. She didn't understand, Ponyville wasn't that big, and yet everyday there were more and more deliveries to be made. Her wings ached from flying miles a day back and forth through the town, and Ditzy felt particularly worse this morning. She was nauseous and just didn't feel like doing anything. She thought it was probably the beginning of the flu or the stress from work, but she decided to go see a doctor anyway.

Luckily, Ditzy was able to make an appointment with Nurse Redheart that afternoon.

"Hmm, no fever..." Nurse Redheart said as she took a thermometer out of Ditzy's mouth.

"...and you said that this just started this morning?"

Ditzy nodded her head.

"Well, I think I may know how we can find out whats going on, but I just need to go ask another nurse for something. I'll be right back." said Nurse Redheart.

A few short minutes later, Nurse Redheart returned with a co-worker, another nurse, both looking strikingly alike, albeit with the latter possessing a horn.

"May I?" The unicorn asked, motioning to her horn.

Ditzy nodded again.

The nurse closed her eyes, and a blue aura surrounded her horn, and Ditzy's body glowed with magic.

Her body felt cold, and breezy, like when you step out of the shower on a windy day. Except her forehead, there was one spot that felt warm above her eyes. She disregarded it, Ditzy never really understood magic.

Suddenly, it stopped, Ditzy's forehead cooled down, and her body warmed up, both returning to normal. The unicorn smiled, and looked at Nurse Redheart, giving a nod. Redheart then smiled too and looked at Ditzy.

"Is it the flu?" Ditzy asked, not sure why the two were smiling.

"Oh no honey..." Redheart said, practically beaming. She pointed to Ditzy's underside and said "You're expecting!" with a smile ear to ear.

Ditzy looked at herself, and finding nothing unusual she asked, "Expecting what?"

The second nurse slightly chuckled. "A foal dear, you're going to be a mother." The two were both looking at Ditzy with smiles spread across their faces.

Ditzy was confused at first, she didn't quite understand what the two meant. But then, a mix of thoughts surged through her in a few minutes. After confusion came realization. Her mind went back to the night before she left Appleloosa. Then, came fear. She knew what being pregnant meant, just not what it entitled. But then, she felt happy. She instantly thought of a small filly or colt running around while her and Braeburn lovingly watched. She felt a smile of her own start to develop.

This of course fueled the two nurses already huge smiles. Ditzy was surprised that their faces didn't stay like that. They congratulated her, and suggested that she take a leave from work. Ditzy was glad when she heard that, the post office was growing more and more chaotic each day. And, of course, the would mean she could go back to Appleloosa but most of all, Braeburn.

She walked out of the clinic, and was about to fly off towards home when Rarity stopped her to ask her a question. Rarity was the self-proclaimed fashion designer of Ponyville. She was prissy, pampered and most of the time a stuck-up drama queen. It was a wonder to Ditzy why she held generosity, one of the six elements of harmony.

"Oh! Excuse me Ditzy, but I'm desperately waiting for an important package, any news on that lately? She asked, as pleadingly as possible.

"Sorry Rarity, but I wont be able to deliver the mail for a while." Ditzy quickly said before beginning to fly off. She was stopped in her tracks once more.

"Oh my, is everything okay?" She asked.

"Yes, its just that, well, I'm going to be a mom soon!" Ditzy said with a smile, wishing the unicorn had nothing more to say. She was wrong.

"Oh?" Rarity was somewhat bewildered, she wondered who the blind stallion was who did the deed, so to speak. "If you don't mind me asking, who's the lucky stallion?"

"Oh, it's Braeburn! From Appleloosa?" Ditzy said, now standing still because she was sure Rarity wouldn't shut her mouth.

"Oh, um well...Congratulations." Rarity said before walking away, a look of disappointment on her face. Unknown to Braeburn, Rarity has had a crush on him since she and her friends visited Appleloosa for the first time. She proceeded to walk home and wallow in, well whatever ponies were supposed to wallow in. Was it pity?

Ditzy finally flew away after having to listen to Rarity's questions. She was anxious to leave for Appleloosa as soon as possible, but she needed some advice first, and she knew just who to talk to.


	6. Chapter 6

Ditzy felt that Applejack would be able to clarify things regarding her pregnancy. She was a down to earth mare, and Ditzy knew if anyone could help her it was Applejack. She didn't fly to the orchard, she still didn't feel too good from her morning sickness. So, she walked. The new winter air brought a sense of calm into the atmosphere, and took Ditzy's mind away from the underlying questions that rattled her brain. It was getting cold, and Ditzy made note to bring something warmer next time she went anywhere. She suddenly had the mindset to protect the new life that was growing inside of her. It was strange, she doesn't remember her mother, only her father. He was kind, and gentle, but stern when it was necessary. Ditzy couldn't quite remember what he looked like, but knew he was a Pegasus. Other than that, she doesn't remember much. She doesn't dwell on it though, only finds it interesting how certain things stand out. Her mind moved to Braeburn, and how he would make a great father. She chuckled, she was getting ahead of herself, Braeburn didn't even know he was going to be a father yet.

As she neared the entrance to the orchard, Ditzy spotted Applejack still working diligently even though the harvest was over weeks ago. She was greeted with the sweet, warm aroma of apples combined with various winter spices. The smell seemed to originate from a large pot that Applejack was stirring attentively. Ditzy wandered over and gleefully greeted her.

"Hi Applejack!" she said.

"Well, Howdy Ditzy! What can I do for ya?" replied Applejack, pleasantly surprised.

"I...I just wanted to ask something." Ditzy said, suddenly growing slightly embarrassed.

"Good timing, I can finally stop stirring this here applesauce, should be about done as a matter of fact." said Applejack, stepping down from a wooden crate she was using to match the height of the pot.

Ditzy suddenly wondered how Applejack was going to take the news of her cousin being the father of Ditzy's foal. She was now thinking she came the wrong place to ask for advice. Her train of thought was interrupted by Applejack.

"What did you want to ask me? She questioned.

Ditzy's eyes went wide, and twang of fear went through her. "Oh...well, I went to go see Nurse Redheart today, and she said that...I'm going to be a mom." She said quickly, waiting for a furious response from Applejack. "I'm happy, b-but I don't know what to do." Ditzy added, still cringing while she awaited Applejack's anger.

"Well How 'bout that!" Applejack said. Ditzy looked up, not sure if she was disappointed or happy for her. "Congratulations, I didn't know Braeburn had it in him." she continued. Whispering in Ditzy's ear she said "Personally, I was beginning to think he might be a colt-coddler."

"I'm sorry, a what?" Ditzy asked kindly.

"Oh, um *****ahem* that's not important right now, but why don't you come in, it's starting to get chilly out here!" replied Applejack, pointing to the farmhouse.

Ditzy accepted, eager to know what to expect in the months to come.

The two talked for hours, mainly Ditzy listening and trying to make sense of what Applejack was saying. Most were "You should do this..." and "Don't do this" or "This is what's going to happen". Ditzy figured that between Applejack and Nurse Redheart, she would be able to understand what she needed to do for the next eleven months. She was surprised at the length of time, no doubt Ditzy believed they would be the longest months of her life. Applejack would love to have a foal of her own, and even though she doesn't, she still knows all there is to know about childbirth. She promised she would be there for Ditzy whenever she needed her.

The two shared conversations until the late evening. They talked about what it would be like having a foal to look after. They jokingly bet on whether Ditzy was going to have a colt or filly. Whatever topic happened to come up, Applejack listened. She didn't put on false smiles, or pretend to pay attention. She was there for Ditzy, happy, proud and willing to help her in any way. They both agreed that Ditzy should move back to Ponyville when she was closer to childbirth, in order to be closer to the hospital. Applejack noticed the time, and remembered she still had to bring the applesauce inside. The two said goodbye, as Ditzy walked towards home.

That night, she dreamt of the stars. She was in the middle of them, heavenly bodies swirling around, each carefully controlled by an unseen force. Planets and stars circled each other, seamlessly orbiting as they floated through the quiet emptiness. She could see Equestria down below. Time was faster than usual, as day and night passed in minutes. She thought of the great force that kept these things in balance, the same thing that kept Pegasi on their clouds and Earth Ponies in tune with the ground, the light that came from a Unicorn's horn, and the spells that followed suit. She thought of how this magic harmonized with fate, two almost sentient beings keeping balance over everything she knew. Ditzy witnessed the work of these guardians, mostly subtle cues that influenced her life. A light breeze that crossed her path or the nagging thought that she forgot something. Whatever it might be, she knew that it had something to do with these celestial protectors. She sometimes wished to be a part of them, but knew it was for the best that she wasn't.

Ditzy was always happy being a Pegasus. She loved the way the temperature changed as she flew higher. The warm updrafts that carried her off the ground and the sun rays warming her skin, both in contrast to the cool breeze that grazed her cheeks. God, she loved the sunset, the spectrum of amber and pink that acted as a canvas on which clouds were artfully painted. A golden orb weaving its way through them in its descent, as the moon rose on opposite end of the horizon. She delighted in the feeling of the clouds as she used to lay on them in thought, remembering the past and contemplating the days to come.

While it might seem unbelievable, Ditzy was an amazing flyer, which is why she loved flight school.

Ditzy could maneuver any obstacle, and whiz by the competition. It was only when her eyes occasionally crossed was she thrown off balance. This earned her the mean-spirited nickname, "Derpy Hooves". She couldn't help it, and knew that she could fly better than almost anyone else when she could see straight. So, she didn't let it bother her, she shrugged it off and only focused on what form of trick she would do next. When she was angry, she flew. When she was sad, confused, or distraught, she flapped her wings and took to the sky.When she was cutting through the air, all the problems she faced throughout the day seemed to be blown away like the clouds in her wake. It's no wonder why Ditzy was fit to be a mailmare then. Residents always got their mail and packages on time. And on the occasion that it was the wrong address, she made up for it with her kindness.

No matter how much she loved to fly, or how good she was at it, there were sometimes when Ditzy wondered what it would be like use magic, the kind that Unicorns possessed through their horns and created wonderful spectacles. Occasionally, she secretly wished to have a horn of her own. She imagined what it would be like to be able to control such a powerful force. She would be able to pick up things and move them around with hardly any effort. She would love to join others in conjuring amazing scenes of magical wonder. Ditzy imagined herself assisting the great Alicorns in their universal duties.

Then she had a thought, what if she could have both? The wonderful gift of flight, and the amazing ability to harness magic. She could be high above the clouds while moving the stars into place, or maybe upon the ground in charge of changing the seasons. She could watch over the residents of Equestria protecting them from harm.

But then, she woke up.

It was morning, and she was in her bed. Sunlight shone in through the window trying to coax her out of her sleep. She could feel it in her skin, warming up her mind to the thought of a new day. However, the dreams she recently woke up from were still fresh in her mind, vivid colors and sensations were still present as she recollected the events that unfolded. Her mind slowly shifted to reality, and Ditzy made her way out of a state of grogginess and sleep. Although nervous, she was looking forward to the day that was ahead. She would take the train back to Appleloosa where she would surprise Braeburn with both her arrival and news of her pregnancy. That's right, she remembered. She had almost forgot she was going to be a mother!

Ditzy was filled with joy, as she knew her life was unfolding towards a brighter future.


	7. Chapter 7

Braeburn was still contemplating the advice that Big Macintosh gave him. He was still not sure what to make of it however.

"Could it really be as simple as walking up to her and…and just asking?" he thought. "What would she think? What would she say? How would she react to me just outright asking her to marry me?" These questions hit his mind like bullets fired from a gun. They came in droves, each sending a chill down his spine. He couldn't believe himself, he was experiencing a nervous breakdown over a _mare._

His conscious snapped at him, "What did you think would happen? You're in love with her!"

It wasn't helping.

He thought of himself stuttering over his words and sounding like an idiot. The idea of him standing there embarrassed, with a stupid look on his face in front of the one pony that made his head whirl in pure emotion made him cringe. He paced back in forth in front of his shop, thinking of ways to prevent himself from blowing the one chance he had. He rattled his brain with possible solutions, but to no avail. Finally with a sigh of frustration, he told himself not to worry, at least he had a few more weeks to think it over.

Ditzy was repacking her things to move back in with Braeburn. The whole morning she had a beaming smile, it reminded her of the ones the nurses displayed the day before. She was delighted, and she wasn't going to let anything ruin her day. With that state of mind, she set out towards the train station, this time flying softly with the breeze. Not in a rush, she glided peacefully above the ground, not fighting the wind, but rather moving along with it. At that moment, she knew that everything was right, in perfect order, the way it should be.

The approaching winter chill set a tranquil mood as the season changed, and Ditzy was careful, conscious of the small being she harbored. She still held the shock from receiving the news yesterday, but a single thought kept reassuring her.

"Everything happens for a reason." She said aloud, smiling. And herself being a mother was no exception. She couldn't believe it, she experienced countless disappointments as far back as she could remember. The heartless remarks of others, her own mother never being around, and even seeing herself as a complete failure, not to mention the death of her only friend. But now, for some strange reason, an undeniable spark of happiness in an ocean of depression made her life change. No longer did she cringe at cruel insults. She didn't seem to forget anything anymore. After years of praying to whatever might be out there watching over her, there came Braeburn. He was the only thing that kept her tethered to reality. But that tether wasn't weak. No, it was far from it, his love for her welded Ditzy firmly away from any despair.

But before she met Braeburn, she thought about it, suicide. She contemplated it, weighing other options that seem to overshadow it. Thinking that whatever lay beyond the plain of existence was worth a few short moments of pain. A fall from a few hundred feet, or maybe a sudden leap in front of a train. She used to hate herself, unsure why she was ever thrust into this world. There was apparently no use for her, she thought. A retarded, gray Pegasus with an almost bleached-blonde mane. A cutie mark that never made any goddamn sense to her. She would try to look towards the "bright side of life" but it didn't help. She imagined herself as a mistake, the result of her mother being too poor to afford a proper abortion. Her mother, she was never around. Most likely ashamed and disgusted of her offspring, Ditzy thought.

She never thought of herself as anything but a failure.

"Ditzy."

Ditzy opened her eyes. She was on the train. Time seemed to have skipped from when she was flying. The chilly skies were replaced with the warm interior of a boxcar, even though the windows still held the winter's cold. The seats, old and somewhat worn, a few patches here and there, failing to cover up tears in the vinyl. She looked around, searching for the origin of the voice that called her name. It wasn't long before she saw her. It wasn't possible, yet she was there.

"Raindrops?" Ditzy was able to weakly say as tears came to her eyes.

"Hi Ditzy." Raindrops replied, a knowing smile appearing.

Ditzy lunged forward, and hugged her friend. She was really there, her coat, her mane, the feathers of her wings. They were all there. Ditzy couldn't believe it, this wasn't some deranged mirage that rooted itself into her consciousness. They held each other for what felt like ages, Raindrops light blue mane soaking Ditzy's tears, and her embrace healing any wounds her heart still suffered from.

"Ditzy." Raindrops said.

Ditzy looked up, her cheeks stained with tears of joy.

Raindrops held her hooves. "I'm so happy for you, you're going to be a wonderful mother." She said with smile. However, it quickly faded, a short, awkward pause following before she spoke again. "But, there is one thing."

Ditzy's expression changed from happiness to worry and confusion.

"Your foal is going to be...well, different. Don't worry, you're going to have a smart, healthy foal, but things will be different. I can't tell you much now, but I can say this. Look toward the future, but never forget your past." Raindrops continued.

She noticed Ditzy's worried look and said, "Now listen, there's nothing to be worried about, trust me. I'm always here for you, just because you can't see me doesn't mean I'm not watching out for you."

Silence followed. Ditzy looked up, understanding, a slight smile reappearing, Raindrops following suit.

Her ear twitched, acknowledging a noise Ditzy herself couldn't hear. She looked towards the sky, "I have to go now." She turned back to Ditzy, her smile unaffected "But look out for me! We'll meet again!"

Suddenly, the entire train was plunged in water, the air was knocked out of Ditzy's lungs and the bubbles of air surrounded her.

She awoke, gasping for air, suffering from a splitting headache. Raindrop's words rang in her head

"...never forget your past." They were clear as anything.

A cold bead of sweat ran down the back of her neck, announcing her return to reality. The ringing in her ears subsided, and she realized she was sitting in the train. It was quiet, the only sounds being the faint chorus of wheels moving along the track and the distant conversations of other passengers. The antique heaters in the car sputtered occasionally. It took her a moment to piece together the events that had just unfolded.

Of course it was dream. Raindrops couldn't have been there but, it just felt so **real** to her. Everything about her was in place. Then she remembered something about Raindrops, there was a scar on her forehead.

Ditzy felt a chill run down her spine as the event revealed itself in her mind. Realization hit, and she knew that she had just been visited by her dead friend. He mind still ached as she tried to remember the conversation that had taken place.

"Your foal is going to be…different..." She remembered.

Ditzy was scared. "What did she mean?" She thought. She was worried, but then imagined Raindrop's comforting smile. She remembered her saying that everything would be fine. Ditzy took that to heart, she wouldn't be contacted by her friend's spirit to be lied to, Raindrops would never lie.

Images of water flashed across her mind. Her eyes went wide, and she immediately looked down towards her flank. "Bubbles!" she almost yelled. Ditzy was ecstatic, she always wondered what her mark meant, and now she knew it had something to do with water.

She was uncovering her past, but had the faint suspicion it wasn't what she expected.


	8. Chapter 8

It was just starting to make sense, and even though it was one of the most unusual situations Ditzy had experienced, she felt comfort. While the ordeal was upsetting, it spurred a soothing notion in the back of her head. Like a reveille, her meeting with Raindrops awakened Ditzy to her past.

Before now, she felt stuck. She felt unable to move in the middle of an abyss, her memories whizzing past her. No matter how hard she tried, the fragments of her past were just out of reach, and even if she happened to catch one, it would slip out of her grasp, continuing its path into the black nothingness. It was only a few moments ago, that she was freed from her paralysis. She was able to move and chase down recollections of her past experiences. The first being the mark on her flank.

"Water...water, water." Ditzy thought. She tried desperately to focus on thoughts that could lead her back. While still shaken by the conversation she shared with her deceased friend, she took a moment to thank her. No doubt Raindrops was the sole reason for her sudden jolt of memory. Her mind moved back to water. She kept feeling her coat to see if it was wet. That dream, or vision, or whatever it was, felt so realistic, she wondered if she was really awake yet. She shook her head, thoughts like that can mess with a pony's mind. It took her a while to catch her breath, it was knocked out of her when the train was submerged. What could it mean, Ditzy knew she didn't like to swim, but that was about it. It seemed that the trail had gone cold before it even started.

The sharp scream of the train's whistle cut through her train of thought, forcing her to pull herself back into the real world. She looked out the window, and spied the nearing, tell-tale silhouette of Appleloosa. This was it. She was going to get off the train, rush to find Braeburn, and then tell him everything. Her body was filled to the brim with excitement, and she couldn't wait to practically shout in his face with joy, announcing to the world they were going to have a child. The train slowed to a halt and Ditzy got off, starting to walk to Braeburn's house.

It wasn't long before she was distracted by the large bakery that stood in between her and the path to Braeburn. She started to think about buying a few muffins on the way over, but stopped in mid canter. "Wait" she thought "I need to go find Braeburn!". It was true, her excitement and love was strong enough to keep Ditzy Doo, from buying a muffin.

What was it about the small baked treat that was so amazing? She thought.

And then, as if on cue, Ditzy's mind was propelled back into time.

A flashback of the greatest magnitude rippled through her conscious. She was in the hospital. White, sterile walls enclosed a bed with even whiter sheets. It was humid, and the only source of ventilation came from a cracked open window to her right. The mattress wasn't comfortable, the pillows were flat, and she was alone. The faint beeps and conversations that made up the ambiance of the facility echoed down the hallway to her room. Starving, she eyed a muffin on the nightstand. Attached to the morsel was a note. Her vision was blurry, and she had a splitting headache, but she was able to make out the wording as she hungrily bit into the pastry. It was still warm, someone must have just came by and left it there. This coupled with the soft, bread-like texture and the aroma of blueberries finding it's way into her nostrils made her fell a little less scared and confused. She struggled to read the note.

I love you, get better. -Daddy

"Daddy?" She said softly to herself. "Daddy!" she called out, desperation in her voice. She threw the sheets off the bed and tried to move. She jerked to get out of bed, when an explosion of pain burst through her head. She instantly became light headed. Stars and light attacked her eyes as she fell out of the bed hitting the linoleum floor with a solid thud. "Daddy!" She cried out again.

Her focus returned to reality as the voice of a scared filly echoed in her ears. Her eyes began to get damp, but she blinked back the tears. "No, today is going to be a good day." She told herself. Ditzy stowed away her emotions deep in her psyche, she would deal with them later. Now, there was business to attend to, news to be shared. The path to Braeburn continued, uninterrupted. Ditzy was flying towards Braeburn's homestead, when she spotted him outside his shop. With excitement, she practically dive bombed him, almost knocking him clean off his hooves. Any more force and Braeburn would have been sent tumbling into his shop, but for now he stood steady, slightly shaken by the sudden attack.

"Braeburn!" Ditzy cried, her voice peaking with endearment.

"Ditzy!" He replied, surprised overtones hidden in his voice. "What are you doing here? It's only December!" His face suddenly paled. "Are you alright? Is everything okay?" He rattled off questions, making sure his love was unharmed.

"No, no, I'm okay, better than okay!" Ditzy assured, a smile on her face letting Braeburn know she knew something that he did not.

Braeburn's line of sight moved to behind Ditzy. The color in his face just started to return when it was drained once more. He spotted Big Macintosh cleaning up across the road. His cold stare reminded Braeburn of his advice, and his…threats. The tan stallion felt a lump in his throat, and knew he had to act fast or be embarrassed deeply on the spot by his cousin.

"Brae, there's some-" Ditzy started to continue her conversation but was cut off.

"Ditzy, uh…" Braeburn started. He took one last glance at his cousin before dropping to a knee.

"Will you…will you mar-" He too was cut off before he could finish.

"Yes!" Ditzy screamed, lunging towards Braeburn, this time making him lose his balance. They both tumbled a short distance before coming to a stop.

Through the dust, Braeburn could see Big Macintosh walking away, laughing.

The two were sprawled out across the ground, confusing onlookers who weren't fortunate enough to see the whole ordeal. They ended up in an awkward stare, no sure what to next. Ditzy took it upon herself to throw her arms around Braeburn's neck, pulling him into a kiss. She then flew up, pulling him to his feet, and retrieved his hat that was thrown from his head. They brushed each other off, and couldn't help but chuckle at the events that just unfolded.

"Apple." Ditzy said with a knowing grin, Braeburn smiled at his nickname.

She looked at him, her expression revealing her secrecy. At this Braeburn cocked an eyebrow, a somewhat nervous grin forming.

"I'm going to have a foal!" She continued.

Braeburn's eyes widened. "Y-You mean?" He choked out.

"A muffin in the oven!" Ditzy replied, chuckling at her own clever use of words as she motioned to her underside.

"That means, I'm going to be..."

"A dad!" Ditzy finished his sentence joyfully.

Ditzy was beaming, however, when Braeburn didn't respond with a smile of his own, Ditzy started to worry. His ashen face was still plastered with a look of confusion. Her heart sank. "What's wrong, why isn't he happy, what did I do wrong?" Ditzy asked herself these questions, but before she could even contemplate an answer, she was swept off her feet by the arms of a certain tan stallion. She was whirled, around, the world spinning around her, yet her eyes locked on his. She was set down again, and Braeburn held her close, nuzzling deep into the back of her neck. Of course, this made Ditzy blush, her wings stiffening slightly.

"I'm going to be a dad" Braeburn whispered in her ear.

Standing there, in the embrace of the one pony that truly, whole-heartily loved her, she felt warm. Not because of the heat that radiated from the stallion beside her, but from the warmth that stemmed from the deepest, untouched portion of her being. The feeling that is only awakened in the presence of someone that touches the very core of your heart. And then, Ditzy could've sworn she felt the tears of her love slowly drop down to her mane, and this made her feel more loved than ever before. And she knew, far from where she stood on the earth, above the clouds, stood a yellow Pegasus with a light blue mane, sharing the same feeling that Ditzy did

Today _is_ a good day, Ditzy thought to herself as she walked with Braeburn back to their house. He stayed close, still beaming a huge from the news he received earlier. His mind was away, imagining the future of him and his love, with the addition of a foal running about. Every so often he would chuckle to himself, content with the idea of him being a father. Ditzy looked over at him lovingly, and he would return with a smile, brightening her heart even more than it already was. This happened often, when they both subconsciously had the notion that the other was thinking the same thing, something common, due to the fact they were both deeply in love. Nothing really transpired that afternoon, even though there was much to be done. Both marriage and pregnancy required planning and decisions, but for now they were content with just being together.

Through the feelings of love and happiness, Braeburn also knew that some of his family members weren't going to willingly accept the fact that he was marrying Ditzy. She was, after all a Pegasus, and so far the Apple family was made up of all Earth ponies. The newer members of the family would surely be fine with it, but Braeburn suspected that the old geezers would hold onto their orthodox ways. "Screw 'em." He thought, chuckling at the idea of him talking to himself in slightly vulgar manner. They would just have to deal with it, was his mindset. He looked down towards Ditzy. "How could I give up her just for the old ways of a few grumpy, old, stallions?" Ditzy was thinking the same thing. She knew well about the Apple family's slight prejudice to Pegasi and Unicorns. She knew that Applejack and Big Macintosh were happy for them, but wondered what the others that made up the extended family would think. Braeburn was the second youngest cousin living in Ponyville, and no doubt some uncles and aunts might try to talk him out of this marriage. They might even dislike Ditzy herself, but she looked up towards Braeburn. They would just have to deal with it, was her mindset. "How could I give up him for the old ways of a few grumpy, old, stallions?" Their eyes locked, and they both smiled.

Ditzy was looking toward her future, but she would never forget her past.

.


	9. Chapter 9

Winter was now in full swing in Appleloosa, and if it were not for the fire heating the room, cold would quickly seep in through the walls. The fireplace radiated heat and comfort, while frost settled on the ground outside. It was late, and Ditzy should be asleep, but she couldn't seem to drift off. She tried to close her eyes and slip into her dreams, but she was now wide awake, thinking. It seemed lately, that Ditzy had been thinking a lot. She had heavy things on her mind, and they wrestled with the joy that shared space in her consciousness. While she was happy and in love, sometimes thoughts entered her mind that would combat those feelings. These thoughts were mainly of her past, and while vague still stirred up emotions and forced her to try to make sense of them. Now, these notions were getting the best of her, she couldn't even sleep.

Ditzy looked over to her side, and there was Braeburn, deep in sleep as he had been for the past few hours. She smiled, albeit a bit jealous of the heavy sleeper. His chest rose and fell softly, a calm smile graced his face. She wondered what he was thinking as she looked back up to the ceiling, it being illuminated by the moonlight that shone through the window. The moon was full and bright, and its reflective glow reached the inside of the room bathing it in a blue ambiance. While the setting was calm and tranquil, Ditzy's mind was not. She looked past her fragmented memories and down deep into the events that would unfold in the coming months. She was getting married and would be able to spend her life even closer to Braeburn. And, if that wasn't good enough, she was going to be a mother.

While the thought of caring for a foal of her own was exciting, Ditzy possessed undertones of fear. She remembered what Applejack told her. The mare said that a lot of changes were going to happen in the time to come, some of them not that pleasant. "But it'll all be worth it, Sugarcube." She assured. Ditzy took this information to heart, after all she was talking to the holder of the Element of Honesty.

While her mind was full of questions, fears, and fractured memories, Ditzy truly felt that her life was quickly changing for the better. She was in love, expecting a child, and was soon to be wed. What more could she ask for, she thought.

With that thought, a burst of thunder shook the house.

It seemed to answer her question, and frankly Ditzy was frightened. She always looked out for the subtle signs that were presented before her. So she knew that this was no coincidence. Someone was trying to tell her something, and she had a feeling as to who it was. She carefully rose from the bed, trying not to wake her fiancee. Looking at the clock she realized it was well past midnight, and soon the sun would rise to a new day. Ditzy quietly walked down the stairs to the first floor, and into the den where the only source of heat in the house was held.

As she expected, there was Raindrops, standing in the middle of the room, shining dimly.

"Sorry to wake you." she said as Ditzy moved down the stairs.

"It's okay, I couldn't sleep." Ditzy replied, rubbing the tiredness from her eyes.

"I figured, you have a lot on your mind?"

"I don't know, I just…*sigh* I'm confused."

Here she was, having a conversation with her friend that died months ago. But there was Raindrops, as clear as day standing in front of her. She didn't question it, in fact, she was happy to have her here, even though she knew it wouldn't be for long.

"I'm happy." Ditzy continued. "But, I want to remember."

"You know… sometimes our memories are hidden for a reason…"

Ditzy frowned at hearing this.

"…but" Raindrops continued. "You need to know." She said slightly nervous.

"Know what?" Ditzy replied, confused at Raindrops' tone.

"Well, I can't just tell you…that's against the rules."

Ditzy was even more puzzled. What was her friend talking about? What rules prevented her from talking freely to Raindrops?

"Raindrops, what rules?" Ditzy asked.

Raindrops sighed, "If I told you, I could never see you again, just trust me…its important. Up until now, you weren't able to look back on your memories…if you remembered them, well, things would've turned out different. "

Raindrops tried to make as much sense as possible without giving Ditzy the extent of her knowledge. However, Ditzy was confused, she wanted to know more about her past, frankly she wasn't sure who she really was, and she needed to find out.

"Why can't I remember?" Ditzy asked.

Raindrops seemed to think before every word, knowing if she revealed too much, there would be consequences.

"Well, when you were a filly, something happened that sealed your memories off." Raindrops chose her diction carefully.

"What was it, please tell me." She replied, her voice growing more and more desperate.

"I'm sorry, you have to find that out yourself."

Ditzy looked towards the ground, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to go back anymore. Raindrops saw this and tried to reassure her friend.

"Don't worry, you know everything happens for a reason right?"

"Then why did you have to leave?" Ditzy said, her gaze not breaking with the floor.

An alarming silence followed. Raindrops was shocked by her question. Tears started to roll down Ditzy's cheeks as she looked at Raindrops, wondering why fate had taken her away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I really am, I didn't want to go, I didn't want to leave alone." Raindrops said as she held her friend, her cheeks were now also damp from crying. The too held each other close, thinking of what was in store for the both of them. Ditzy, and her guardian angel Raindrops, there to watch over her, comfort and protect her.

"I love you..." Ditzy broke the silence. "I...I don't have a sister, but I have you, and I couldn't ask for more." She said, tears running down as she embraced her friend.

Raindrops couldn't take it anymore. She had held her emotions from Ditzy the last time they had met, but now it was too much. The tears she wanted to shed as she was whisked away from the world of the living finally came out, the sadness the was bottled up inside her as she watched over Ditzy were released. She looked at Ditzy, drying her tears and tried to cheer her up.

"I'm sorry I had to leave, But if I was still here, you might not be getting married, you might not be expecting a foal. In the end, it all works out." She said, trying to look at the bright side.

"But why does it have to be about me, you had to die just so I could live happier? It's not fair, there's nothing special about me." Ditzy replied, looking back down to the floor.

Raindrops, felt the sadness and confusion that her friend was experiencing, and knew she had to tell her more.

"Listen, you _are _special, you're unique, and you're meant to be here. You are meant to be a mother and I don't care what anyone says, I couldn't imagine my life if I had never met you."

These words hit Ditzy at the heart, through the emotions and questions that still whirled around in her head, a smile appeared on her still teary face as she looked up at Raindrops.

Raindrops returned that smile as she explained to Ditzy why she was here. "Now, changes are going to happen, soon. But whatever happens you need to know that I'm here for you. You are already starting to remember things, and that's great. Certain things happening in the present are going to relate to things that happened in the past and you'll now when that happens."

Ditzy felt the sadness being lifted off her shoulders, and the questions she had didn't ache for answers as they had before.

"Fate.." Ditzy said as she thought about it for a few moments.

"You're right, and sometimes fate makes it hard for us to understand it, but..." Raindrops said before she was cut off by Ditzy.

"...everything happens for a reason." Ditzy said smiling, as she understood.

Raindrops smiled back, happy for her friend. A rumble could be heard upstairs, announcing that Braeburn had finally awakened from his death-like slumber. The two looked up at the ceiling.

Raindrops still smiling, chuckled and turned to Ditzy and said. "Well, looks like your little Brae Brae is up, guess he'll be looking for you. *wink***" **

Ditzy blushed slightly as she gave a stern look at Raindrops, but she couldn't help laugh at her friends sense of humor.

"Well, I'd better go, I'll leave you two alone, just, try to keep your wings down, okay?"

Ditzy was shocked that she still remembered the incident, her face growing redder then it was before.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Raindrops said noticing her friend's serious expression. "I have to go, but I'll be closer than you think."

And with that, Raindrops flew off, completely ignoring the window Ditzy opened, and phased through the wall next to it, looking back and waving.

Ditzy smiled and rolled her eyes, she hadn't changed a bit.

She turned to see Braeburn walking down the stairs to the room in which she stood, and smiled.

"Good morning Braeburn!" She said aloud with a smile.

Braeburn chuckled slightly. "Morning" He replied. "You're up early." He said as he walked towards Ditzy.

"I couldn't sleep, but that's okay." She said, a smile still gracing her expression.

Braeburn put his head around Ditzy's and nuzzled her softly, an affectionate greeting that was now custom between them.

Ditzy thought over what Raindrops had said, and knew that she needed to find out more about who she was. However, there were moments when thoughts ran through her mind that still caused her to shiver. Moments like right now.

"Honey?" Braeburn looked up from over Ditzy's shoulders, noticing the tremble that shook his love. "Are you okay?"

Ditzy felt cold, she didn't want to tell him what exactly was going on until she knew for herself. It would just make him worry, was her reason.

She forced a smile "I'm fine." she replied.

Braeburn was completely convinced, but he knew that Ditzy wasn't that in touch with her memories, so he smiled back, knowing that she was okay.

It was today that Braeburn needed to talk to Ditzy regarding their marriage, and the arrival of a foal that would occur over the next ten or so months.

All the while they talked, going over plans, details and suggestions, Ditzy's mind was trying to handle two things at once. She knew who she could talk to who could help her remember, but also, she was listening to Braeburn. She was balancing these things, trying to keep her balance and concentration. It wasn't that obvious, but for somepony that knew Ditzy as well as Braeburn knew her, it was noticeable to say the least. Every so often she would drift off in the middle of the conversation, her mind working over scenarios in which she tried to find her own identity. Braeburn noticed this and although worried, asked Ditzy what was wrong.

She looked down, and replied that she was fine, and that nothing was bothering her.

"Ditzy, I know you. Somethings bothering you, and you can tell me." he said, a comforting look showing his sincerity.

Ditzy wasn't about to tell him that her long dead friend has been having conversations with her, but she couldn't very much keep everything a secret. She sighed as she decided to tell him what he needed to know, nothing more.

"I...I can't remember much from when I was a filly." She said, slightly embarrassed, even though she knew it wasn't her fault. She looked down to her flank, and confessed. "I don't even know what my cutie mark means." Ditzy knew that Braeburn wasn't going to think of her any less than how he did know, but still didn't want to sound stupid in front of him.

Braeburn felt empathy, but he didn't know how to show it. He knew he wasn't the type to get emotional, and he didn't want to make Ditzy feel worse by sounding uncaring.

"Hmm, I cant truly say that I know what you're going through. But I can imagine its not easy. Now, I have to confess, I'm not too keen on matters like this, but I think I know somepony who is." He said, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

Ditzy had the feeling she knew who he was talking about. "You mean, Twilight?" She said.

Braeburn was somewhat surprised, she was right. "Yeah, how'd you figure?

"Well, I know she's smart." Ditzy chuckled. "And she lives in a library."

Braeburn smiled. "I'm sure she'll be able to help you." He nuzzled Ditzy again, making her smile too. "Don't worry, no matter what, I love you."

Braeburn always made Ditzy's heart melt, and know he was just too much.

"I love you too!" she said as she gave him a kiss.

Just like the one she gave him the first time they met.


	10. Chapter 10

Below her was water, a vast ocean of black amethyst. Above was the sky, it was night as the clouds were dark paint blotches on a deep purple background. She could've marveled at it for hours, always being a fan of Luna's work, if it wasn't for the fact that she was falling. Her eyes opened wide as the breeze rushed in her ears as she fell from the bridge. Her hooves grasped for a railing that was just out of reach, and she plummeted to the crashing waves beneath. She flapped her wings tirelessly, with no effect of slowing her down. They were the wings of a filly not yet able to fly.

There was no stopping it, she was going to drown.

Time slowed and she looked to her side. Droplets of water rose up and crashed with her coat and feathers, splitting into dimly illuminated mist. It was cold, freezing, and it only made her more aware of the situation. Ditzy had just enough time to hear the echo of her scream for assistance before her back hit the water. She had no time to arch it away from the drop in temperature. It wasn't long before her head sank below the waves, her breath was knocked out of her creating a wall of bubbles that rushed to the surface, further hindering her vision. The light from the moon faded away as the distance between her and the surface grew ever more greater.

Ditzy struggled to reach the surface by flailing her legs and wings. When her nose broke the water she inhaled deeply to soothe her burning chest. She was met with salt water instead of air. It invaded her lungs and burned her throat causing her to further inhale more. A wave crashed over her head, sending her back into the abyss. The salt singed her eyes as she continued to fight the currents. Her head ached, her ears rang, and colors danced in her irises before a blackness blurred everything before her. She couldn't move, she couldn't breath she couldn't see.

She couldn't think.

Ditzy awoke violently thrashing the sheets that were over her. She gasped for air, still not realizing she was safe. "Ditzy!" Braeburn yelled her name as he tried to calm her down. He was met with a hoof to the face. It collided spot on with his left eye. It almost immediately swelled, blocking half of his vision. However, he barely flinched, and still held Ditzy, trying to calm her down.

It was a few moments before She stopped flailing her limbs and shaking her head, She looked up at him and tears rolled down her cheeks as she flung her arms around his neck and buried her face deep in his mane. He was shocked at the current situation that roused him from his otherwise uninterrupted sleep.

But, either way, he returned Ditzy's embrace, comforting her as much as he could.

Braeburn was worried. He knew that Ditzy was having trouble with her past, but nothing like this had happened before. Whatever nightmare she had, it scared her to the point of tears, which was something that Braeburn hated to see. Slowly however, her tears subsided and she laid back down. He speculated it was a few hours before Ditzy went back to sleep, but Braeburn stayed up, watching over the mare that lay before him. The night persisted, and Ditzy's chest rose and fell softy, signaling that she had finally fell asleep. However, she frequently twist and turned, her face showing expressions of anger and confusion. The nightmares were still affecting her. Throughout the night Braeburn stayed up ready to comfort his love if she woke once more.

It was 11:26, and Braeburn had been staring at the clock some time now, not wanting to fall asleep. The second hand moved one full revolution, and being satisfied that it was in working order, Braeburn moved his gaze from the clock to the window. It was snowing. It must have just started, as a layer of powder had not yet established itself upon the windowsill and the ground was not graced with any frost. It soon would be however, the snow was coming down hard and Braeburn expected a few feet by sunrise. He smiled, the sight of the first snowfall would surely take Ditzy's mind off things, for awhile anyways. His smile faded, and he looked down to Ditzy. She held the quilt tight, seeking comfort in it's softness and warmth, her face still showing signs of distress. Braeburn sighed, The nightmares wouldn't stop unless she at least talked to somepony who knew about these things. He felt useless, all he could do was listen, he had zero skill when it came to emotional conversations.

Blinking, he was reminded of his sore eye. Braeburn was surprised at Ditzy's strength, it wasn't as if he hadn't been in any fights before. Oh no, Braeburn had taken part in his fair share of bar tussles and skirmishes out on the street, all for just cause of course. Not once however, did a black eye bother him, More than often, it was his pride that hurt more than any physical injuries he sustained. Tonight though, his left eye, now completely swelled shut, was truly, honestly, painful. It wasn't the fact that it had been Ditzy that inflicted it, he knew it was far from her fault, and was glad his mare was able to defend herself. But, it really did sting. Never before had Braeburn taken a hit to the face as swift and hard as this one . Throughout the night it transitioned from a dull hum with his pulse racing through it, to a stinging fire set ablaze on his face. And all the while he chuckled at how he was going to explain how he got a black eye...from a mare...in her sleep.

Ditzy was still asleep, it was still snowing, but the ground was not hold even a touch of white. Braeburn looked at the clock, it was still 11:26. "Wait." He thought. Opening his eyes, he sighed as he realized he had drifted off during the night. He had tried his best to stay awake, but the weight on his eyelids apparently overwhelmed him and he succumbed to the comfort of the pillow under his head. More often than not, our dreams can tie in with reality, and Braeburn didn't like it. He accepted Unicorns, their magic, and even fate to an extent. But if their was one thing Braeburn couldn't stand, was when it turns out what you think is real is only a dream. Not because he was reminded of a dull life, he had no complaints there. But Braeburn too had secrets he would not wish to reveal to anyone, not even Ditzy. So, when he can't differentiate between what is real and what his mind conjures up, it upsets him, and sometimes makes him challenge the reality of the moment.

Thankfully, time is a constant in dreams, and Braeburn was able to take a hold of that. Now, in reality it was close to sunrise, the snow had piled up, and Ditzy was nowhere to be found.

Braeburn still was waking up, and it delayed his reaction to the unknown whereabouts of his fiancee. If the time of day, and absence of the Pegasus didn't tell him he had just woken up from a dream, his still swollen eye sure did.

"Oh yeah, that's right." He mumbled groggily still trying to wake up. He lightly touched his eye, and pulled his hoof away almost immediately. He chuckled once more and said aloud, "Damn Ditzy, this sure will be a story."

He slid out of bed, and onto the cold floor. The temperature drop further awakened him and he trotted downstairs in search of the grey mare that usually occupied the left side of the bed.

Ditzy was standing near the table in the kitchen, having apparently already been up for a while.

"Good Morning Beautiful." Braeburn cheerfully said, not sure of how Ditzy was feeling.

The nightmare couldn't have phased her all that much, or at least she didn't show it when she turned around with a smile saying.

"Braeburn! It snowed last nigh-" She stopped mid sentence as she eyed Braeburn's injury.

With a flutter of her wings, and an amazing burst of speed, Ditzy cleared the distance between her and Braeburn in a heart beat. She gasped and frantically said. "Oh my, oh my oh my, Oh my goodness, are you okay? What happened? Who-." She stopped once more, realizing exactly who landed the jab to Braeburn. She covered her mouth with a hoof in disbelief, and continued her rambling.

"Oh no, did I? I did! I'm so sorry. Why did I? What happened? Oh no, the nightmare!" She covered her face with a hoof as she tried to make sense of it all.

"Honey." Braeburn couldn't' help but chuckle at how adorable she sounded just then. "Please, I'm okay.

It was an accident."

Ditzy gasped once more as she closely examined the wound. "Come on, we need to go see Nurse Redheart, She can Mmmfmm-" The last of her sentence was muffled as she grabbed a jacket in her mouth.

"Ditzy." Braeburn smiled. "Nurse Redheart is in Ponyville."

Ditzy dropped the jacket. "I'm going to go see Twilight, you can come with me!"

"Really, Its okay, I can just go get some ice and-" Braeburn started to say, but Ditzy's eyes lit up when she heard the word ice.

"Braeburn!" He was silenced. "It snowed last night!"

Braeburn let out an affectionate sigh as he trotted towards his love and nuzzled her head. "Yes, and by looks of it, I don't think the trains are going to be moving anytime soon. So, I guess you're stuck with me."

Upon hearing this Ditzy pushed away the subtle disappointment that came from not consulting Twilight, mainly because she got to spend the day with Braeburn. She spent the next few minutes getting some ice and for the injury she unintentionally inflicted the night before.

Braeburn placed it on his eye, wincing as he did so. A few silent moments past before Ditzy spoke up.

"How...how did I do that?" She asked.

"You're stronger than you look Ditzy, and you have a mean right hook." Braeburn said, not realizing Ditzy looked towards the ground as he did. "But, it was the nightmare, I know you didn't mean to. Are you okay now?"

Ditzy nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head no.

"If you talk, I'll listen," Braeburn said, wiggling his ear.

Ditzy sighed. "I don't know. I dreamt that I was drowning. It...it just felt, real." She didn't break her gaze from the floor as she described the wretched nightmare.

"Well, that's just it, you dreamt it. It wasn't real and it couldn't hurt you." Braeburn tried to sound as comforting as possible.

"I think I almost drowned as a filly." Ditzy replied.

An unsettling pause in the conversation followed suit.

Braeburn set the ice pack down and hugged Ditzy, nuzzling her yet again. "Don't you go about worrying what may have happened in the past. We have ourselves a mighty fine future ahead of us, I know it."

Ditzy's tears didn't come, instead she returned Braeburn's hug.

"Now, I was thinking." Braeburn continued as he looked at Ditzy. "We better start thinking up names for the little one."

Ditzy ears perked up and she smiled. She didn't even have to think before she answered. "Ramona."

Braeburn looked up in thought for a few moments. Thinking over the name. "Ramona, I like it." He looked back to Ditzy. "Now, what if he's a colt?"

Ditzy, smiled. "_She_ won't be."

Braeburn cocked an eyebrow. "And what makes you so sure? Don't I have a say in this?"

Ditzy looked over to her underside. "I just know, and no you don't." Looking back up to Braeburn she chuckled and said. "Are you the one whose going to be carrying a foal around all day?"

Braeburn returned his signature chuckle and grin. "You got me there Ditzy." He returned the ice to his eye. "I meant to ask, do you think she's going to be a Pegasus?"

"I don't know, but it doesn't matter." she grinned as she replied.

Braeburn secretly wished his foal would be, then he or she could feel the wonder of flight. "You're right, but I always wondered, what does it feel like to fly?"

Ditzy thought over all the wonderful things about flying. From the way the breeze caresses your face, to the rays of sun gracing the clouds. Ditzy's flexed her wings. "It's amazing." She walked over to grab the jacket off the ground. She picked it up and threw it at Braeburn before finding her own. Braeburn barely caught it mid-flight with a bewildered look on his face. "Come on." Ditzy said over her shoulder before opening the door and walking outside.

Braeburn followed suit, the whiteness of the snow blinded him for a moment. Shielding his eyes, he was able to make out Ditzy stretching her wings.

"What are you planning?" Braeburn asked upon seeing Ditzy's smirk.

"What I do everyday." she replied, still testing her wings in the cold.

"And that might be?"

"Carrying packages." she said smugly.

Braeburn chuckled. "Ditzy, no offense but I don't think you can lift me, let alone fly with-" He was cut off mid-sentence by hooves under him. He looked up to see Ditzy hovering above him. "Now wait a minute before you do anything crazy-" he was stopped once more. Ditzy sighed before she said. "Braeburn, you talk too much." She gave him a wink before taking off, Braeburn in her arms.

"Woah, now hold on Ditzy, this is mighty kind and all, but I'm not so sure about this." Braeburn said over the rush of wind, holding onto his hat.

"Come on, your the one who said I was stronger than I look. Just shut up and enjoy the scenery." She said.

Braeburn rolled his eyes and did as he was told to the best of his ability. The feeling of being high off the ground was new and slightly terrifying. However, he had to admit that the view was beautiful. The recent snow was untouched by pedestrian traffic and the rays of the sun. Appleloosa had been transformed into an ongoing plain of whiteness overnight. Sun glinted off the snow drifts giving the the entire ground below a layer of crystal shimmers. It illuminated the powder as it effortlessly flew from the hilltops, carried by the wind.

Winter air graced the both of them as Ditzy flew higher into the sky. Braeburn could now see for miles and couldn't stop from looking in complete awe. She smiled as she saw his colt-like excitement.

"It's...it's amazing." Braeburn finally spoke up.

Ditzy smiled. No matter what was in store for her. No matter what had happened in the past. She knew now, at this moment, with the love of her life in her arms, the sun on her back, and the breeze lifting her wings, everything was right.


End file.
